Sunday, September 11, 2011

I'm Blaming it on the Sun!

I was sitting at my computer with a lump in my throat, and I couldn't understand why.  I don't have anything to worry about.  We're in our new apartment and things are going quite well.  Partner is studying in the next room and the sun is shining.  I have a plan of attack for tomorrow, and later today my biggest worry will probably be to remember to draw Siren from Elvoret at the top of the Dollet communication tower. 

The lump persisted.  I feel a breeze blowing in on my bare feet.  I can hear the football match at the nearby lycée.  It reminds me of something, but I really can't remember what.  I mean, after all, it's been years since I've been at a high school event of any kind... but it hasn't been that many years since I was in Columbus  during football season. That's when it all comes together.

It's Fall.  Everyone, since birth I believe, has been programmed to feel strange in the fall.  Originally, it's when school begins.  We can't stay at home and enjoy ourselves.  We have to go out into the cruel world and deal with a bunch of people who's only real goal is to make us feel worse about ourselves than we already may.  After that, Fall means the end of Summer, and that Winter won't be far behind.

Of course, it doesn't help that today is a date of infamy.  I feel it cliche to recount where I was when I heard the news, given that like anyone my age, I was in class.  I had the luck to be finally doing what I wanted, which was nice for a change.  I remember hearing that someone had flown into a building.  I had left my high school to head to the community college fifteen minutes away for a computer course.  I was in a post-secondary program.

I saw a report earlier today and it made me think.  I agree with the guy up until he mentions about Bush/Cheney keeping us safe, because as we all know that's bull.  I can't really explain how it was transformative for me personally.  Nothing in my life really changed.  I didn't personally know anyone who passed in the attacks.  It's enough to make me wonder if this is manufactured by the news coverage. 

Part of me does wonder how September 11th is comparable to other events.  My mother told me that she was in Government when Kennedy was assassinated in 1962.  Is that not comparable?  Maybe it's more like Pearl Harbor.  Then again, with what a tragedy it was, maybe it's more like Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  I'm rambling and I still feel strange. 

I'm going to go now.  I'll see you all around.


  1. it's just a day to feel strange my friend...On my blog I recounted the day, and as I typed all those feelings flooded back, I think this is our generations Kenedy assasination, ya know? Any way, embrace life today man and every day


  2. I'm feeling much better today. Thanks for the encouragement, and understanding!

  3. Hello, I only recently discovered your blog, and am enjoying.
    I too am an expat, in the Loire...
    I felt exactly the same way, and I am old enough to remember all the assassinations of the 60s, not well, but I was there, I can not compare really.
    This is the first year that this happened oddly enough, and I too relived that day.
    Anyway, I think that you write well.

  4. Thanks very much for the complement! It's always good to meet a fellow expat. I'm glad to know that other people can find some similarity, or at least amusement, in my experience here.

    I think it's something that never will really go away. I didn't really notice it until today. I think it takes an anniversary to realize just how important something is. I hope you're feeling better, and that this finds you well! Bonne continuation!